I started talking to myself yesterday. Hahaha, those who know me well may roll their eyes, knowing full well that I have always talked to myself. While some consider this a symptom of psychosis, in my opinion a little soliloquy never hurt anyone. It is no news that my pastor’s message yesterday was for me, because by God’s grace I am always where He wants me to be at every given season and so I can rest assured that He’ll be speaking to me in the little things and in the big things.
I was therefore expectant and a little intrigued when I heard the title of the message; Self Dialogue. As pastor went on however, a dozen light bulbs went off in my head and I was practically transformed as I sat there listening. Oh, would that I could tell you all the things he said, but the bottom line was this; it is a very good and productive thing to sit yourself down for a good chat regularly. We read once again the story of the prodigal son who collected and wasted his inheritance even while his dad was still living. And we saw how he “came to himself, and said to himself…” and as he talked to himself, and reasoned with himself, his solution came, and even turned out better than he could have imagined!
I learnt that it is more than the soliloquy that has always been a part of me; it is a serious, honest and even cathartic dialogue that leads to increased clarity, confidence and focus. We talk all the time, but the talking that really brings on the change we seek is the one we do with ourselves. The woman with the issue of blood also talked to herself. She assessed her situation, dialogued with herself and she got what she wanted.
How different would my life be today if I thought to have a good talk with myself from time to time? Some mistakes would never have been made. There sure would be relationships I would never have entered, trips I never would have taken, habits I would have found strength to break so long ago, and dreams that would have been birthed. As painful as the thought of pain needlessly borne is, I take solace in the fact that it is not too late to start. In fact, what better time to have a long talk with my inner girlfriend than now with the new year only a few days away? A hot milky mug of my favourite ginger and honey blend, a pen, my journal, and we are ready to go.
I am taking a very important step this week, and I already started talking to myself about it. I can’t tell you what a difference it’s made already; how full of potential, responsible, intelligent, beautiful and lovable I am reminded that I am. You’d imagine that I should already know that, right? Well, I forget, but at least now I don’t need anyone else to remind me; I can just remind myself!