I Wonder…


I wonder what it feels like to go to church and hear the Word of God without any intention of obeying it…

Spending Monday to Saturday cutting corners at work, telling lies, having sex with my boyfriend, then waking up early to make it to church on Sunday…

I wonder what I would say, kneeling to pray. Would I say, “God I’m sorry”, knowing, come Monday, I’d be doing it all again?

And then the strain of sitting through the service, knowing it’s all a sham and God sees right through me even though people do not…

Why would I even go to church on Sunday and pretend to honour Jesus, when I twist a knife in His heart all week? Better to stay at home, no?

Jesus said, “You are my friends if you get dressed and endure 2 hours in church every Sunday.” NOT.

Jesus said, “You are my friends if you keep my commandments.”

Jesus said, “If you love me, defend me by attacking anyone who makes jokes about me.” NOT.

Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.”

Growing up I thought everyone who went to church was a friend of Jesus. I didn’t realise He had enemies.

“I have often told you, and now tell you with tears in my eyes, that many live as the enemies of the cross of Christ…” #Word

“…In the end they will be destroyed. Their own emotions are their god, and they take pride in the shameful things they do. Their minds are set on worldly things.” #Word

“Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin.” #Word

“May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O Jehovah, my rock and my defender.” #Word


3 thoughts on “I Wonder…”

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