Family Life

Joysuo: Of Reference Points and Married Sex

A few months ago, Pastor Ifeanyi Adefarasin was teaching us (Women to Women Seminar) about discipline in raising kids. We had talked about how important it was for children to keep their father’s authority in mind.

At this seminar, I learnt that when raising children, it is important to have a reference point for discipline. Pastor Ifeanyi told us how her little son misbehaved one day, and his father flogged him thoroughly. Why so hard? Reference point. So that tomorrow, “Daddy will flog you” will carry weight. When that child hears those words now, he behaves himself immediately. He knows what that means, he knows what daddy can do. That alone is enough for him to go years without getting a beating. The power of a reference point!

So, this was parenting class, but you know me…I was also thinking about . I’m addressing husbands because they are our heads and leaders. Does your wife know what you can do? Have you ever taken time to really, seriously pleasure her in an unforgettable way?

You know, that kind where her eyeballs roll back into her head and she’s gripping the sheets? Have you really, really done your wife? I think such a reference point is necessary too for couples. So that the next time you’re putting the moves on her, and she says not in the mood…

Enough said.


Marriage is honourable among all, the bed undefiled…Hebrews 13:4


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