Family Life

Joysuo: Have You Let Yourself Go After Marriage?

If you had asked me last week, I would have said no, I haven’t let myself go. Letting oneself go means wearing a hairnet, getting fat, or walking around the house tying wrapa, right?

I recently realised I have indeed let myself go when I remembered something my big bro Harris said in his book, From Friend to Fiancee. He explained that what it takes to attract a man or woman is the least it will take to keep them. Now, I don’t believe in “keeping a partner” in the general sense of the phrase, but I do believe in attraction, and the need to sustain it.

When it comes to letting yourself go, “yourself” goes beyond just your body.

You may not be wearing a hairnet or sporting a face smothered with “Shelley” every evening, but ask yourself, are you the woman he fell in love with?

Husbands are not exempt either. Do you still pay attention to your appearance? Do you still get her thoughtful gifts? Send her sweet texts? Call her just to hear her voice? Have her sit in your lap?

I’ll be the first to admit that running a home and caring for children takes a toll, and it can be hard to stay looking like eye candy.

So, what can we do? I’ve decided to draw a picture of the woman I used to be, and take it a little at a time.

I need to come up with a plan to keep my hair looking nice always (this afro isn’t scoring me points with hubby). Pedicured feet. Polished nails.

I need to take my rest seriously so that I’m happy, not cranky. To spend more time with God so that I exude positive energy, salt and light. To watch my speech and make sure I’m full of encouraging, uplifting words.

Because, that’s the woman he married.

What will you do to get “yourself” back? Do leave a comment!


6 thoughts on “Joysuo: Have You Let Yourself Go After Marriage?”

  1. Satin bonnet… check!
    Jalabia/roomy kaftan/fitted boubou/yoga pants and big tshirts… check!
    Love handles/love rolls… check!

    There’s a reason (think ‘excuse’) for each one 😀
    * My children love to tug and pull at my hair, that’s why I also wear only tiny stud earrings and no necklaces
    *They’re comfortable for housing all that extra post pregnancy weight and rolls not to mention convenient for all those spills and stains these kids throw atcha


  2. Auntie Joy am new on ur blog and will surely take stock as not letting myself go n going back gradually to the lady he first set eyes on…. God bless u

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