Literature, Uncategorized

Because I Have No Scars

If truly a husband’s words held up a wife’s head,

Then I would walk head bowed, with my shoulders bent,

The light that once danced in my eyes all but dead

My reservoir of peace and joie de vivre, spent.


The fist proceeding from your mouth delivers blows

Your snide remarks an open palm upon my face

I start to feel the familiar seed of hatred grow

Threatening to asphyxiate my beauty and my grace


As long as you can boldly say, “I never beat her”

What does it matter if my self-esteem is now in tatters?

Or that the shreds of my joy float away like paper,

When as far as the eye can see, I have no scars?


I am earth’s treasure, jewel of inestimable price,

My value abides in me, plentiful not sparse,

So I refuse to cower under the glare of your eyes

I hold my head up high, and they think I have no scars.


My face, my back, my limbs are smooth as baby’s bottom

There are no crutches, no band aids, no doctor’s letters,

And so my lashes, my pain and tears they cannot fathom

“Did he abuse you? And if he did where are the scars?”


Mountain or molehill, it makes no difference to me,

Strength lives in my heart to love, to forgive and stay;

But when tall mountain comes crashing into salty sea,

That very strength will guide this woman’s feet away.



For Hodiya, the resilient.


I Got The Answers Wrong!

My friend Chojare shared this on Facebook in 2009 (I’d forgotten it until FB dug it up this year!) and I thought you should see it too. Enjoy!


As Jesus aptly put it: Unless you become like unto one of these little ones you will not enter into the kingdom of God (paraphrased). This is a lesson for all one-track minded people. Read on, and open your minds!

Read through with a clear mind. And please don’t get the last ten questions wrong. And remember you don’t presume you know the answer.

A Primary three teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Boy, what is your problem?”

Boy answered, “I’m too smart for Primary three. My sister is in Primary six and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary six too!”

The Teacher had enough. She took the boy to the Headmaster’s office.

While the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the Headmaster what the situation was. The Headmaster told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to Primary three and behave. She agreed.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Headmaster: “What is 3 x 3?”

Boy: “9”.

Headmaster: “What is 6 x 6?”

Boy: “36”.

And so it went with every question the Headmaster thought a Primary six pupil should know. The Headmaster looked at the teacher and told her, “I think the boy can go to Primary six.”

The teacher said to the Headmaster, “I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?” The Headmaster and the boy both agreed.

The teacher asked, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two

Boy: (after a moment) “Legs.”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

Boy: “Pockets.”

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The Headmaster’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

(The Headmaster’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer…)

Boy: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Boy: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

The Headmaster was looking restless, a bit tensed.

Boy: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy: Fire truck

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if you don’t get it you have to use your hand.

Boy: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have, it’s longer in some men than in others, the Pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?

Boy: Surname

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?


The Headmaster breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
“Send this Boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”

Fitness, Personal Leadership, Spirituality

The Power of Small Changes

It doesn’t always have to be big changes. Every little change to your daily routine counts. Here are 5 small things you can do today for your tomorrow:

1. Drink more water: Use a timer to remind you if you need it. Your brain, hair, skin, hormones…your entire body in fact, will be better for it.

2. Skip body lotions: Go for body oils instead. Did you know that body lotions are 70%water? Your lotion is basically water + oil. The reason you can’t see that is because an emulsifier is used to bind them together, giving the final product a creamy consistency. So when you apply oil on your wet skin, you get a lotion- without the emulsifier, which you don’t need as it does absolutely nothing for your skin, anyway.

3. Exercise: The main thing that scares us about exercise is it appears to be something we need to put on gym clothes and go to the gym to do. Get a dance video and work up a sweat in your living room. Buy a skipping rope. Or simply go for a brisk walk- my favourite any day. Don’t forget your music: get good earphones and go!

4. Read: Again, books scare people. Start by reading articles. Pick a good blog and read one post a day. Subscribe to a magazine (@barows21 will deliver to your door if you live in Lagos). Join a book club and read a few chapters each week. Reading is life-changing.

5. Speak God’s Word to yourself: Take a closer look at Psalm 23, or 27, or 91. David wasn’t praying, he was simply declaring what he believed. I use God’fessions by Goke Coker, it has the Bible verses on one side and the confessions on the other. Tell God you believe His Word. I can’t tell you how starting your day this way will infuse your spirit with light and power. Let there be a “yes, Lord!” in your belly each morning!


Do you have a small life-changing tip that has worked for you? Please leave a comment!

Personal Leadership

Attend This Free, Life-Changing Seminar From Your Home!

If you have ever wanted badly to succeed in life, this seminar is for you. Find two hours to invest in YOU. It’s free, and lord knows I would have paid for the experience.

“How do people become significant? How does one person despite all the limitations of environment and even seeming genetic limitation, how do they get to be great and influential and famous? How do people begin to build influence in the world? How can one man control millions of people? How can one woman have influence on generations?”

Father, save me from myself and let me be all you created me to be!






Joysuo: Married Sex and the Female Orgasm

Last night I was a guest on #MySexuality, a teaching series which has its leaning on adult expression of sexuality backed by the word of God. I was asked to speak on the topic Orgasm: The Ultimate Sexual Destination (A Female Perspective).

You can read the tweets on my Twitter page for married couples, @joysuo. You can also search the hashtag #MySexuality, or click here for the storified version of my tweets. I hope you find a thing or two to encourage you in your marriage. Blessings!




Not So Happily Married

I wrote a new poem. Please let me know what you think.

Not So Happily Married

It is one thing to cling to hope
Lying forlorn upon your bed
With ring free fingers, vows unsaid,
Soul mateless, and alone;
Prisoner of longing unfulfilled,
Yet holding on to hope.

Tis quite another so to lie
When ring and stone adorn your hand,
Now in much-yearned-for promise land
Your soul still stands alone;
Prisoner of longing unfulfilled,
A prisoner without hope.