Have you ever wondered how come you and your partner earn good incomes and yet are not really rich? I’ve realized that it is not enough to make money; it must be managed properly and made to grow. All the land being bought and vacations being taken are not entirely funded by salaries. Here are 5 things ordinary couples like you and me, who attain financial freedom, do differently… continue reading
It’s never black and white when it comes to staying or leaving.
We know that if a woman is being abused, she should remove herself from that situation immediately; but what if she is just unhappy? The general consensus seems to be that if your marriage makes you happy, you should stay, and if you’re unhappy you should walk out. Sometimes we even turn up our noses at those who stay despite being unhappy; they’re either hypocrites, or they are slaves to society’s idea that an unhappily married woman is “still better” than an unmarried one.
Sometimes though, that’s not the case. I asked some women who chose to stay in their marriages despite being unhappy or unfulfilled, and here’s what I got… continue reading
I am a finite being; this reality never dawned on me until recently. I kind of always knew, naturally, but today it hit me in a very tangible way. My capacity (be it emotional, relational, or physical) is finite.
First, one of my devotional readings for that day (Authentic Fasting by James McDonald) pointed out that it’s not that I’m not hungry for God; I’m just not hungry enough. And that’s because I’m full of many other things- including food.
Then I set out to drink 2.5 litres of water daily and I realised I simply could not eat as much as I had been eating if I wanted to be able to take in more water (my water drinking habits are notoriously poor) than I’m used to.
And I realised it’s the same thing in other areas of life. It’s the reason why there’s a book titled “Excessive Sleep, Killer of Destiny.” We have only 24 hours in a day and we must prioritize the things that really matter.
Even our affections are finite. You can’t love a husband or wife fully without first “forsaking all others” and emptying yourself of affections and addictions foreign to your marriage (you can try though, if you’re naive enough!).
You can’t serve two masters either. That’s why I particularly loved the prayer at the end of that day’s reading:
Prayer – Father, I am a finite being. I can only do so much, and take in so much. Forgive my tendency to use my time and capacity on things that draw me away from nurturing my hunger for You. Give me such hunger for You I cannot help but put away that which does not satisfy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I read my first Mills & Boon novel when I was 9. It was a “Doctor-Nurse Romance” titled The Cry of the Swan. It took seven years and nearly 100 M&B novels for me to decide I’d had enough. Prior to that turning point, you couldn’t find me without an M&B novel. I remember once in Literature class when Mr. Robert caught me reading Ripe for the Picking while he was teaching and asked me to stand in front of the class and tell the story. Was I ashamed? Not one bit, but I pretended to be so he could release me and give back the book he had seized. I would meet complete strangers and we would bond immediately over M&B and start an “exchanging” relationship. Remember those days?
When I emerged best student in WAEC English Language in my State, some of my classmates tried to attribute it to Mills & Boon. My people, the glory for that A1 goes to my dad who bought me proper books and my aunt who read them to me. What did I gain from M&B? Read more…
I still have the journal I kept when I was a younger woman. I recently decided to go over it, and I made some interesting discoveries.
My essence, thankfully, is still the same, and I still have the precious friendships that I cherished 10, 20 years ago. Yet, in the midst of so much to be grateful for, I experienced some bittersweet emotions as I read through accounts of unrequited love, betrayal, new love, and hopes for the future.
If, somehow, I could reach out to the woman I was then, these are the words I would say…Read more