What Marriage Has Taught Me About Boredom

When you first started dating it never crossed your mind that you would one day be bored with this person.

Every sleeping and waking moment was wrapped up in them. The newness was exhilarating, adrenaline was pumping, and you just couldn’t get enough of them. What did you ever do to deserve this love?

There was so much to say, so much to do, so much to see together, and even being in the same room with them in silence somehow managed to be pure bliss.

The reality is nobody stays on that high forever. You’ve been together for a while, and that newness has long waned. You know that phase wasn’t meant to last forever, but what can you do now to keep boredom at bay? I wondered one day, so I went looking for answers. Here’s what I learnt.

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Why Do Long-Term Relationships Not = Marriage?

My bosom friend Esther dated her beau for eight years (from University till they both found their feet and got married). A few years ago, my brother-in-law also married his sweetheart of over a decade. At both weddings, the joy that old friends and schoolmates in attendance radiated was palpable; the dream had come true at last!

This is how I used to think every long-term relationship should be. I could never understand how people dated for years and then broke up, eventually marrying other people. My heart and head rebelled against it, and though I rarely ever commented, I always thought in my heart that they were throwing away a good thing for whatever reason. To my way of thinking then, there was nothing that a couple who had enjoyed a great relationship for a long time couldn’t work out together. It’s basically like marriage, after all, isn’t it?

No, it is not. No matter how long an earthworm grows it will never become a snake. Continue reading…

Crown Him With Many Crowns

So today is #HymnFriday and this hymn- which has been on my mind for weeks – has completely taken hold of me. Jesus’ swag is too much, beyond what any mind can imagine. I don’t know what I will do with myself when finally we behold Him face to face. No earthly gish-gish could ever compare!!

I think it was Michelle McKinney Hammond who wrote that the orgasm is a foretaste of what Heaven will be like- and that’s why we’ll need glorified bodies for eternity. These bodies can’t handle it. This song has me in the throes of something right now, so that makes a lot of sense.

Crown Him the Lord of years, the Potentate of time,
Creator of the rolling spheres, ineffably sublime.
All hail, Redeemer, hail! For Thou hast died for me;
Thy praise and glory shall not fail throughout eternity!

 

 

You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone…

Recently I’ve been seeing things that remind me of the reason why the grass is rarely ever greener.

On Sunday, a lovely lady I follow on Twitter lamented her decision to visit another church thinking it would be better than the one she belonged to. Her “Who sent me message?” had me chuckling, but what elicited the peals of laughter was her declaration that she would be so exuberant in her church the following Sunday, the other parishioners would wonder what happened to their sister. I remember thinking, “Thank God it’s church, and that she can go back easily.” Many people have given up relationships of great value just because they hoped to find something better…and found themselves without altogether. Continue reading…

What Can Natural Hair Teach Us About Marriage?

If natural hair is a serious commitment, then marriage is an even more serious one, not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly. And once you’re in, there are certain things you must keep in mind. Here are 5 things married couples can learn from savvy naturalistas:

1. They know what their hair needs:

Natural hair needs water. Water is the ultimate moisture, not hair oils, butters or creams. That’s why one of the first things a naturalista buys is a spray bottle. Water is LIFE to natural hair. The other things are applied to seal in the moisture, they are not the moisture. What does your marriage need to thrive? Does your partner crave quality time with you? Do they thrive off your words of affirmation? Do they need you to help more around the house or support them in achieving their dreams? When you both find what pumps life into your marriage and make those things priority, marriage becomes easier and more enjoyable. Sex is vital in marriage but only when it’s sealing in the important things. Without them it tends towards hollowness after a while. Read more…