Published Articles

One Important Question to Ask Before You Say “I Do”

When we think of getting married, we’re usually thinking of the good times. We know that there are tough times in life, but those are not the thoughts our minds caress, and when we close our eyes, those are not the scenes we envision. This gorgeous, amazing, smart, funny, successful, sexy person will soon be ours forever, and together we will make the cutest little babies and live happily ever after.

I remember when I lived and worked in Warri, there was this guy (let’s call him Leo) who wanted to marry me. Now, Leo and I had never interacted. Read more…

Family Life, Published Articles

5 Money Talks to Have Before You Tie the Knot

Until you attempt to build a life with someone else, you really can’t understand just how much money can affect a marriage. It’s not just about “no romance without finance”. To make marital bliss a reality, you need to be on the same page.

Here are 5 big money discussions you MUST  have, in no particular order:

Debt: Before you get married, you both need to be honest about how much you owe and have a clear, workable plan to pay back. When Zee married Uche, she had no idea how complicated his financial history was. A few weeks into their marriage, he told her he was paying off a certain debt, so he couldn’t contribute financially for a while. Three years later, Zee is still paying the house rent and school fees, in addition to feeding the family. She has bought two cars, both of which he has sold, for said debt. Yet there is no end in sight. Read more…

Family Life, Published Articles

The Biggest Killer of Marriage

Divorce is almost always a cancer, rarely ever a heart attack. It creeps up on you slowly. Unless you’re checking for lumps and other symptoms every now and then, you’re usually too far gone by the time you realise.

We often hear about marriages “crashing” but the truth is they seldom do. Most times they die slow deaths, often very painful. It may have ended in an affair, an act of violence, or just someone ‘suddenly’ deciding to leave, but it’s never really sudden. Whatever ended it started a long time before The Crash. Read more…

Family Life, Published Articles

What No One Tells Singles About Marriage

The not-so-romantic truth is that marriage is a contract. No matter how much we wrap love around it like a cloak, both partners must keep their end of the bargain, spoken or unspoken, otherwise the marriage will collapse. We don’t talk about this in courtship because it’s not the kind of sentimental stuff we like to dwell on, but fewer marriages will collapse if we strip marriage down to the bare bones; this is what I’m bringing to the table, and this is what I expect. We tend to choose business partners more carefully and practically than marriage partners, perhaps because we do not recognise the power of marriage to make or break a person. Read more…