Proverbs 31 Babe: Why You Must Have Your Own Money

1. You Are a Person.

Yes, you are a human being. Ecclesiastes 3:13 says “And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labour, for these are gifts from God.” Being a woman doesn’t exclude you or mean that the gift of God doesn’t apply to you. The “virtuous and capable wife” in Proverbs 31 knew this. She went about her various businesses with zest and vigour, and applying her God given aptitude she invested her earnings, creating multiple streams of income and multiplying her revenue! Have a look:

-“She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.”

-“She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.”

– She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

– She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants

Man or woman, there is dignity in labour. God has made it so, and is well pleased to see it. Get with the programme.

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Interesting Conversations Christian Couples Should Have Before Engagement

Nobody can think of every single thing to discuss before marriage, but here are 30 considerations that may never have crossed your mind.

What Life Has Taught Me About Friendship

When you consider that you can survive for a while without a lover or spouse, but it’s practically impossible to survive without a friend, it becomes easier to see how friendship is a bigger deal than romance. It’s not pleasant to be without romantic love in your life, but how much worse is it to be without a friend in the world?

I agree with CS Lewis: “After all—though our novels now ignore it—friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’” Read more…

Is Your Togetherness Too Total?

Does a happy marriage mean being inseparable?

Elizabeth Taylor, who married Richard Burton in 1964, divorced him 10 years later, and married him again in 1975 before they divorced for good less than a year later, once described their marriage as “being in each other’s pockets.” Read more…

7 Harmful Habits Your Relationship Doesn’t Need

Whether you’re dating, engaged or married, there are certain behaviours and habits that are counterproductive to a healthy relationship. Men and women who know the value of a mutually fulfilling and satisfying relationship are careful to avoid practices that threaten their love, and they take deliberate steps to break those habits where they have already been formed. Here are 7 harmful habits your relationship doesn’t need.

One Much Overlooked Ingredient Every Marriage Needs

In marriage we usually think, sincerely, that there’s no time or energy for those little extra things that make a big difference in marriage until suddenly there’s lots of time and energy for an affair, or for separation and divorce proceedings. Read more…

Is Your Feminism Ruining Your Marriage?

I want to talk about YOUR feminism, because it is very likely that you are the designer of that thing you’re touting as feminism.

Women still earn less than men in many parts of the world even when they are as qualified as, or even more qualified than their male counterparts. Many women still have their clitorises cut off as babies because God forbid that a woman should enjoy sex.

A girl child misbehaves? She must be disciplined and taught a lesson so that she won’t go and disgrace the family when she gets to her husband’s house. A boy child misbehaves? Ah, you know boys will be boys…

Read more…

How Can I Tell if I’m Marrying the Right Person?

In response to my article last week about marrying the wrong person, many readers asked, how can I know the right person? So this week, in addition to reiterating some of the important things we hear at good marriage seminars, I also I decided to share the ONE thing I believe is the key to a truly satisfying marriage that isn’t defined by pounding yam and washing boxers.

You can read my response here.

 

What Can Natural Hair Teach Us About Marriage?

If natural hair is a serious commitment, then marriage is an even more serious one, not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly. And once you’re in, there are certain things you must keep in mind. Here are 5 things married couples can learn from savvy naturalistas:

1. They know what their hair needs:

Natural hair needs water. Water is the ultimate moisture, not hair oils, butters or creams. That’s why one of the first things a naturalista buys is a spray bottle. Water is LIFE to natural hair. The other things are applied to seal in the moisture, they are not the moisture. What does your marriage need to thrive? Does your partner crave quality time with you? Do they thrive off your words of affirmation? Do they need you to help more around the house or support them in achieving their dreams? When you both find what pumps life into your marriage and make those things priority, marriage becomes easier and more enjoyable. Sex is vital in marriage but only when it’s sealing in the important things. Without them it tends towards hollowness after a while. Read more…

Why Do Women Stay in Unhappy Marriages?

It’s never black and white when it comes to staying or leaving.

We know that if a woman is being abused, she should remove herself from that situation immediately; but what if she is just unhappy? The general consensus seems to be that if your marriage makes you happy, you should stay, and if you’re unhappy you should walk out. Sometimes we even turn up our noses at those who stay despite being unhappy; they’re either hypocrites, or they are slaves to society’s idea that an unhappily married woman is “still better” than an unmarried one.

Sometimes though, that’s not the case. I asked some women who chose to stay in their marriages despite being unhappy or unfulfilled, and here’s what I got… continue reading