Nobody can think of every single thing to discuss before marriage, but here are 30 considerations that may never have crossed your mind.
As I listened to my lovely sister-in-law say her vows (and answer ‘I will” before the pastor asked her, sisteh cool dahn!) I felt a mild ache in my heart. Does she know? Is she ready? They’d been through premarital counselling, and they’d probably had extra lessons from kind older couples around, but nothing prepares you for the reality of marriage. That’s the truth. Teaching engaged couples how to be married is like trying to teach driving without a car. Read more…
In response to my article last week about marrying the wrong person, many readers asked, how can I know the right person? So this week, in addition to reiterating some of the important things we hear at good marriage seminars, I also I decided to share the ONE thing I believe is the key to a truly satisfying marriage that isn’t defined by pounding yam and washing boxers.
You can read my response here.
Growing up, my worst fear was marrying the wrong man.
Haaaay God! I feared the thing more than the apocalypse. I never said anything about it to anyone because I wasn’t sure they’d get why a teenager should be worried about such a faraway thing, but it was a very real fear for me. Of course we know that a failed marriage, though traumatizing, is not the end of the world, but in my teenage mind, marriage to the wrong person was the end of one’s life. As far as I was concerned, it was all downhill from there, a nightmare from which one could never wake up. Then one day… Read more
My bosom friend Esther dated her beau for eight years (from University till they both found their feet and got married). A few years ago, my brother-in-law also married his sweetheart of over a decade. At both weddings, the joy that old friends and schoolmates in attendance radiated was palpable; the dream had come true at last!
This is how I used to think every long-term relationship should be. I could never understand how people dated for years and then broke up, eventually marrying other people. My heart and head rebelled against it, and though I rarely ever commented, I always thought in my heart that they were throwing away a good thing for whatever reason. To my way of thinking then, there was nothing that a couple who had enjoyed a great relationship for a long time couldn’t work out together. It’s basically like marriage, after all, isn’t it?
No, it is not. No matter how long an earthworm grows it will never become a snake. Continue reading…
Engaged or thinking of getting married in the near or distant future? See my article about books you absolutely have to read to make sure you’re well equipped: