Inspiration

I Got The Answers Wrong!

My friend Chojare shared this on Facebook in 2009 (I’d forgotten it until FB dug it up this year!) and I thought you should see it too. Enjoy!

 

As Jesus aptly put it: Unless you become like unto one of these little ones you will not enter into the kingdom of God (paraphrased). This is a lesson for all one-track minded people. Read on, and open your minds!

Read through with a clear mind. And please don’t get the last ten questions wrong. And remember you don’t presume you know the answer.

A Primary three teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Boy, what is your problem?”

Boy answered, “I’m too smart for Primary three. My sister is in Primary six and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary six too!”

The Teacher had enough. She took the boy to the Headmaster’s office.

While the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the Headmaster what the situation was. The Headmaster told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to Primary three and behave. She agreed.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Headmaster: “What is 3 x 3?”

Boy: “9”.

Headmaster: “What is 6 x 6?”

Boy: “36”.

And so it went with every question the Headmaster thought a Primary six pupil should know. The Headmaster looked at the teacher and told her, “I think the boy can go to Primary six.”

The teacher said to the Headmaster, “I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?” The Headmaster and the boy both agreed.

The teacher asked, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?

Boy: (after a moment) “Legs.”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

Boy: “Pockets.”

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The Headmaster’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

(The Headmaster’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer…)

Boy: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Boy: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

The Headmaster was looking restless, a bit tensed.

Boy: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy: Fire truck

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if you don’t get it you have to use your hand.

Boy: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have, it’s longer in some men than in others, the Pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?

Boy: Surname

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?

Boy: HEART.

The Headmaster breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
“Send this Boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”

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It’s My Birthday!

Father, thank You for preserving my life and keeping me in good health! Thank You for the many blessings You’ve showered me with, for my sins that are forgiven, for the better, brighter days ahead. I’m grateful for everything, and incredibly happy and excited to be growing into the woman You created me to be!

And my people! I’m feeling the love from friends and family (Twitter Friends and Family especially, wow!); I’m warm and fuzzy all over. I just want to say thank you for all the prayers and wonderful wishes! God bless YOU, may your path ever be flooded with the brightness of His countenance!

And to my October friends who have zealously been chanting “Libra Rocks!” and “Libras Rule!”, I feel you because I remember how it used to be, rocking the most fabulous star sign ever. I would however like to seize this opportunity to remind you of this post.

Most of us would not consider visiting a babalawo to tell us things about ourselves and our future, but we stick with horoscopes because they appear harmless and pretty, and boy do they make us feel good! Sadly, the forces that power the Zodiac are not of Christ, so we know whose they are; there are only two sides. The pretty packaging belies the danger and spiritual uncleanness underneath; not stuff we should have anything to do with, as friends of God. He hates it. And we love God.

Once again, thanks for all the love, blessings and encouragement! I’m going back to my loud music and chocolate cake and small chops… love and light!