Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships, Spirituality

Should You Compare Your Marriage?

If there’s anything I know to be true, it’s this: comparing your marriage to someone else’s is foolish.

I remember one day 10 years when I saw a couple I knew looking and acting sweet as usual, in their matching t-shirts and sneakers, and whispered a prayer to God about wanting my future marriage to be like theirs. A prayer that God, in His infinite mercy and wisdom, did not answer. I was shocked to realise later just how much pain and suffering lay underneath the façade, and even as I prayed for their healing and restoration, I retracted my previous prayer. Never again!

Today, after being married for a few years and having been thrust into “married circles” almost from day one, I know for a fact that no matter how close you think you are to a couple, it’s never a good idea compare your marriage to theirs; not just because of the dangers of comparison, but also because you simply do not know what their marriage is actually like.

From where you stand their marriage may appear sexier, more interesting, more modern, even more spirituality intimate than your own. Continue reading…

Published Articles, Relationships

7 Harmful Habits Your Relationship Doesn’t Need

Whether you’re dating, engaged or married, there are certain behaviours and habits that are counterproductive to a healthy relationship. Men and women who know the value of a mutually fulfilling and satisfying relationship are careful to avoid practices that threaten their love, and they take deliberate steps to break those habits where they have already been formed. Here are 7 harmful habits your relationship doesn’t need.

Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships

7 Things Great Wives Do Differently

We’re all still basking in the euphoria of the love, friendship and honour we witnessed between Barack and Michelle Obama as they spent their final days in office, and there was much “goals-ing” all over social media. Many have also wondered, secretly if not openly, what wives who live happy, fulfilled lives even as they make their husbands happy, do differently.

I decided it was certainly something worth looking into, and apart from making sure you marry a worthy husband (without this you’re in for a rough ride regardless of whatever else you do), here are 7 things great wives do:

Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships

What Do People Mean When They Say Marriage is Work?

It has come to my notice that single people who intend to get married have been hearing “marriage is work” for ages and yet they’re not exactly sure what the “work” is. And they’re sick of it.

I’ve decided to share a few things about what constitutes this “work” based on my experience and the experiences of people I’ve talked with about marriage over the years. Read more…

Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships

One Much Overlooked Ingredient Every Marriage Needs

In marriage we usually think, sincerely, that there’s no time or energy for those little extra things that make a big difference in marriage until suddenly there’s lots of time and energy for an affair, or for separation and divorce proceedings. Read more…

Published Articles, Relationships

Will You Wait Till The Water Runs Dry?

“We don’t even talk anymore…”

So begins one of my favourite Boys II Men songs,Water Runs Dry’.

When a marriage is headed downhill, talking is usually the next to die after kissing. You just don’t do it anymore. Continue reading…

Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships

5 Tips for Getting Along With Your New In-Laws

Settling into married life is hard, not only because you and your husband are just getting used to living and building a life together, but also because you married his family when you married him.

Here are 5 tips that can make your transition easier.

Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships

5 Ways to Help If Your Husband Gets Laid Off

Recession is not just a word. Every day, people are losing their jobs and it’s not a function of their performance. Many companies just can’t afford to keep people on.

Being there for a fired husband is not a walk in the park. Men are expected to and socialized to see themselves as providers, and when a man can’t provide, it affects him seriously. As a result, even if his severance package can tide you over until a new job comes so you don’t have to deal with the financial strain, being out of work is still extra hard for a man’s ego.

What can you do?

Family Life, Published Articles, Relationships

Is What You’re Doing Marriage Or Slavery?

There are homes where both partners contribute financially and yet the wife is completely responsible for cooking and housekeeping while the husband puts his feet up and plays on Twitter or watches a movie. Some dads won’t even give the children a bath, dress them or feed them. There are homes where the husband is struggling as the sole breadwinner and the wife enjoys leisure all day, and will not lift a finger to contribute financially even when she can get a job or start a business and support their lifestyle.

Even worse, some partners relegate their partners to the roles of provider, cook, cleaner, child bearer, nanny, etc. without putting any genuine effort into making sure they are emotionally and sexually satisfied as individuals.

These things should not be. Read more…