How Do Christians in Large Churches Thrive?

I’m a “small church” girl. I grew up in a congregation where everyone pretty much knew everyone, and I kind of liked it that way. So when I got engaged to a man who had recently joined a church with a large congregation, I wondered how in the world I was going to manage. After attending service with him a few times, I was outright distressed. Kuku kill me.

So heavily did the issue weigh on my mind that I found my way to a former pastor’s office seeking counsel. He totally understood where I was (he always does, he’s a pastor in the shepherd sense of the word, not just a pastor as in someone who stands in front and preaches) and he gave me one piece of advice to help me thrive in a large church. “Find a fellowship within the fellowship,” how said.

Unfortunately for me, even though I recognized this as fantastic advice, I did not immediately implement it. Continue reading.

Verbal Abuse: When There Are No Visible Scars

When Lois accepted Nduka’s marriage proposal, she had no idea she would be anything but blissfully happy with him. After all, he had wanted her in his life so badly, expressing his desire to date and marry her several times over the years since they first met…

When you ask Lois how she came to be trapped in an abusive marriage, she hesitates. Accepting Nduka’s treatment of her from the weeks leading up to their marriage, until now, as abuse, has been difficult for her. Continue reading.

Billary: 7 Moving Excerpts from Carl Bernstein’s A Woman in Charge

“Their friends observed a remarkable chemistry. ‘She’s the one that gets up in the morning with a dark cloud over her head, and he gets up with the bright sun,’ said a photojournalist who followed the Clintons in Arkansas and in Washington. ‘As the day goes on, he’s the one who falls into a funk and she’s the one who will refocus him. It’s one of those things that if they had never met neither of them would have reached the heights that they did.’” Continue reading…

Interesting Conversations Christian Couples Should Have Before Engagement

Nobody can think of every single thing to discuss before marriage, but here are 30 considerations that may never have crossed your mind.

Should You Compare Your Marriage?

If there’s anything I know to be true, it’s this: comparing your marriage to someone else’s is foolish.

I remember one day 10 years when I saw a couple I knew looking and acting sweet as usual, in their matching t-shirts and sneakers, and whispered a prayer to God about wanting my future marriage to be like theirs. A prayer that God, in His infinite mercy and wisdom, did not answer. I was shocked to realise later just how much pain and suffering lay underneath the façade, and even as I prayed for their healing and restoration, I retracted my previous prayer. Never again!

Today, after being married for a few years and having been thrust into “married circles” almost from day one, I know for a fact that no matter how close you think you are to a couple, it’s never a good idea compare your marriage to theirs; not just because of the dangers of comparison, but also because you simply do not know what their marriage is actually like.

From where you stand their marriage may appear sexier, more interesting, more modern, even more spirituality intimate than your own. Continue reading…

Why Do Some Women Marry Without Physical Attraction?

It’s true that marriage isn’t all about sex, but sex is a huge part of it. And yes, it’s important to marry a nice, kind, decent man, but why would you marry him if you feel no physical attraction?

It turns out there are many reasons why people make that decision. I’ve been asking people who have found themselves in marriages without physical passion, and this is what they had to say.

Is Your Togetherness Too Total?

Does a happy marriage mean being inseparable?

Elizabeth Taylor, who married Richard Burton in 1964, divorced him 10 years later, and married him again in 1975 before they divorced for good less than a year later, once described their marriage as “being in each other’s pockets.” Read more…