What you know may not matter much if you aren’t applying it. You might as well not have that knowledge at all. When it comes to marriage, there are things we know we should do, but life and laziness get in the way.
Children, especially when they are very young, don’t understand boundaries. They feel free to ask any and every question that comes to mind, and to give their opinion on whatever subject, regardless of who is involved. It is in the process of training a child that boundaries are taught. Thus, the child learns that it is not every question that should be asked, and that, unless you’re asked, you should generally keep your opinion about someone else’s business to yourself.
Apparently this only happens in ideal circumstances, and not everyone was trained or remembers what they were taught. How else do you explain the staggering number of adults who have no understanding of boundaries, and who cannot mind their business even if their lives depended on it?
Professionally, Dr. Olamide Craig describes himself as a pastor and a physician. He went to medical school at the University of Ibadan and graduated in 2007 with a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery degree. After this, he completed his internship at the National Hospital in Abuja and went on to receive a Master’s in Occupational Health from the University of Birmingham in England.
Some of his professional certifications include the NEBOSH Technical certificate in Oil and Gas Safety, Graduate Member of the International Society of Occupational Health, and Fellow of the Royal Society of Public Health. He has been involved in counselling and ministry for over 20 years, starting in secondary school where he was the President of the Air Force Secondary School Christian fellowship. To help hone this skill he is studying for a combined degree to include Diploma in Marriage Counselling, Diploma in Psychology (Interpersonal Relationships) and Diploma in Sex Therapy. He talked to me about the recently launched online dating website, SurulereLove, which he co-founded with his wife, Aisha Craig.
CN: How would you describe SuruLereLove?
SuruLereLove is an online dating and matrimonial site for the discerning Nigerian single. Our vision is to create a safe space online for Nigerian singles to meet, get to know each other and start fulfilling relationships.
Yes, I’m too lazy. I don’t have the energy and this is why my marriage is “good”. Sure, there are people with great marriages but those ones have two heads, you just can’t see the other one with your physical eyes. Someone once likened a great marriage to ducks swimming, smooth and effortless on top when underneath they’re actually paddling like crazy!
Think about the most successful students, musicians, or athletes you know. You see them when they excel and receive awards and accolades. They’re always looking awesome and pumping their fists, and you’re never thinking of the nights spend studying while others were sleeping, the hours spent rehearsing, writing and recording, or the disciplined training and achy muscles.
It all just looks fun and exciting, pretty much the way genuinely happy and fulfilled couples look.
If you’re a wife and mother who goes to work, works from home, or runs a business, then you must have help at home. That’s it; it just had to be put out there like that. If you don’t have help, then you need to ask yourself some hard questions. If you have chosen to not have a business or career, that’s a different matter. However, if you want to make money, contribute meaningfully to the economy, and raise your kids properly, you need help at home whether it’s someone who resumes and closes or someone who lives with you. Here are a few things every working mother without an assistant should know.
- You Are a Person.
Yes, you are a human being. Ecclesiastes 3:13 says “And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labour, for these are gifts from God.” Being a woman doesn’t exclude you or mean that the gift of God doesn’t apply to you. The “virtuous and capable wife” in Proverbs 31 knew this. She went about her various businesses with zest and vigour, and applying her God given aptitude she invested her earnings, creating multiple streams of income and multiplying her revenue! Have a look:
-“She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.”
-“She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.”
– She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.
– She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants
Man or woman, there is dignity in labour. God has made it so, and is well pleased to see it. Get with the programme.
Inspired by the Skinny Girl in Transit Season 4 finale, many Nigerian women are currently praying, each declaring that their own Mide will find them in 2018. Love is too sweet!
Are you looking forward to getting married next year? See this.