Verbal Abuse: When There Are No Visible Scars

When Lois accepted Nduka’s marriage proposal, she had no idea she would be anything but blissfully happy with him. After all, he had wanted her in his life so badly, expressing his desire to date and marry her several times over the years since they first met…

When you ask Lois how she came to be trapped in an abusive marriage, she hesitates. Accepting Nduka’s treatment of her from the weeks leading up to their marriage, until now, as abuse, has been difficult for her. Continue reading.

5 Mistakes First Time Mothers Often Make

Few things are as overwhelming as being responsible for a tiny human being who is totally dependent on you: for food, clothing, shelter, warmth, companionship, everything except the air God gives for free. Even with a great support system, there are still certain things first time mums realize they could have done differently, although it didn’t occur to them at the time. Here are just 5 common mistakes newbie mummies make.

5 Efficiency Tips for Working Mothers

Work-life balance may remain elusive, and even being a stay-at-home-mum is a full time job, but you can still stay on top of your game with these 5 tips from wives and mums around the country.

1. Plan ahead: Sit down on Sunday night and visualize everything you need to get done for the week; then write them down, making a to-do list in your diary or handheld device. Be sure to include everybody who is important in your plans; husband, nanny, older children, etc. Balance out your meetings in order to conserve energy. Try to schedule most of your out-of-office meetings around the same time so you make the most of your being out, and schedule late meetings close to home, so you’re not stuck in traffic faraway when you should be home with family.

2. Double up: This is my personal favourite; it has been of great value to me over the years. Make the best use of those pockets of time you have during the day. Go everywhere with working material or a book you need to finish reading. Make that phone call you’ve been meaning to while you do the dishes. Touch up your nail polish in the cab on your way to the seminar. Listen to your Bible while you sort the laundry. Pack it in, double up!

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How to Keep Good Domestic Help

“Overpay and undercriticise,” says Helen Gurley Brown, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine for 32 years, on how to keep good domestic staff once you get them. Afterall, they take a great burden off you especially if you’re a working mum; they keep your house tidy, help care for your kids, assist in keeping every mouth fed and clothes properly laundered, and may even handle your shopping, thus freeing you to be a better professional, wife and mother. So, how do you keep a good one?

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5 Tips Working Parents Should Always Keep In Mind

Recently I had to let my domestic assistant go. Although keeping up with work while taking care of my son has been challenging, I cannot deny the advantages that this opportunity to invest more of myself into raising him has afforded me. For instance, I have had time to re-evaluate the systems I had put in place earlier, and I have found that he has outgrown quite a few of them. I have become better acquainted with his favourite TV characters, and we have spent many precious moments “reading” books together.

Just yesterday I found out about an after school home for kids of parents who have to be away at work all day. The home handles picking the kids up from school, feeding them a warm meal, giving them a bath, getting their homework done, making sure they take a nap, and playing with them until their parents come to pick them up; they are open till 10pm.

While some may balk at the idea of leaving one’s kids in someone else’s care and having the caregiver supervise all these activities, the reality is that working parents with live-in help do pretty much the same thing. Even for a work-from-home mother, delegating certain parts of raising a child in order to attend to clients is inevitable.

So, what can working parents do to provide strong, loving leadership for their children?

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5 Tips to Make Starting Preschool Easier

You can still vividly remember the first time you held your little baby in your arms; wasn’t it just the other day? And now it’s time to enter the world of early learning! Here are 5 tips to help make this new phase of life easier for you and your toddler.

1. Visit your child’s class: Take time out to stop by the class your child will be resuming in when the new session comes. See how the children behave and are cared for. What’s the maximum number of children in a class? How many assistants does the class teacher have? A conversation with the teacher who will be handling your child can go a long way to help ease your fears and equip you to properly assist your little one. Hardly any questions are out of bounds; talk about potty training, lunch breaks, naps and what happens when a child is ill. Ask what you can do to complement the school’s work at home. Take notes.

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30 Days, 30 Blogs: Dr N’s Musings

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Dr. N has been a medical practitioner for over 8 years and she started this blog to share “what you wish your doctor told you.”

Of course this was enough reason for me to be drawn to this blog- who doesn’t want to hear the truth about something as important as health? Her passion, burden and purpose in life is to educate, inform and empower Nigerians and the rest of the world to make informed health decisions. Add to that the fact that she is unapologetically Christian (it’s uncool to be that these days, by the way) very candid, a devoted wife and mother, and writes the kind of relatable fiction that I enjoy…there’s no denying the fact that I’m hooked.

You can be sure I’m always busy gobbling up all the posts that have any references to married sex; lord knows we spend too much time telling young people to abstain and way too little time helping them when they eventually get married. I’ve always been exasperated by how religious people like to pretend when it comes to sex. It’s one of the 25 Random Things About Me I shared in an old post here.

Here’s a delightful snippet from one of Dr. N’s posts:

“When you meet the right man, you need to open up your heart slowly to the idea that God has authorised him to receive the jewels you have been keeping for Him. Slowly, as the wedding approaches, you see him as a priest who receives the offering. Just as the Israelites gave their precious sheep and doves to the priests to burn and even eat, but believed it was God who got the glory. So I honour God and my husband with my body. If I lie there stiff as a board, muttering “Blood of Jesus”, the guy will be turned off. Soon, we will need a marriage counsellor. Rather, I let go with reckless abandon, just as I scream and dance in church, so both he and Jehovah are excited. Let’s be real ladies, it takes 2.”

Yeees doctor! Ladies, have you heard? It’s what the doctor ordered! And she talks to the guys too. Bookmark this blog today!