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Last year, I didn’t achieve one of my most important goals. I was simply going to try again this year when something stopped me in my tracks. Visions of 2017 turning out exactly like 2016 in that regard, flashed before my eyes, along with the thought, what’s the plan to succeed this year where you failed last year? Read more…
Once, as my heart remembers
All the stars were fallen embers
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you.
Once, all dreams were worth keeping
I was with you…
Once, when our hearts were singing
I was with you…
Poetry as music!
Sigh. Does Enya ever grow old?
Asking for your hugs,
Begging for your kisses,
Seeking a connection,
Making silent wishes,
Aching for “I love you”
Waiting for a letter,
Praying it gets better…
I’m done needing you.
This is me, now. I am here, now,
But thoughts of me, then, and us, as we were,
When all we wanted, waking and sleeping,
Was to belong to each other,
Are welcome, from time to time…
I will miss you forever.
Somehow, this is something I have always known,
Even back when I didn’t think I would have to
be without you, ever.
I knew, that I always, always wanted to know, to own
Your love, your friendship, your respect,
And I know that in many ways I still do…
But I miss you,
Pretty much the way my childhood
Will always be mine, and always be precious,
Except, of course, that I never want to go back,
Nor should I. That wouldn’t be real life, would it?
Every buzz of my cellphone in my bag
Is a maybe,
Every glimpse of your photo on the wall
Is a ferry
That carries me back to another time,
A far off place,
Before my blindness robbed me of your voice,
And your embrace.
Every whiff of the coffee that you loved,
Of strong, rich friendship, its smoky flavour
Feeding hope that the love that never was,
Will be someday.
If truly a husband’s words held up a wife’s head,
Then I would walk head bowed, with my shoulders bent,
The light that once danced in my eyes all but dead
My reservoir of peace and joie de vivre, spent.
The fist proceeding from your mouth delivers blows
Your snide remarks an open palm upon my face
I start to feel the familiar seed of hatred grow
Threatening to asphyxiate my beauty and my grace
As long as you can boldly say, “I never beat her”
What does it matter if my self-esteem is now in tatters?
Or that the shreds of my joy float away like paper,
When as far as the eye can see, I have no scars?
I am earth’s treasure, jewel of inestimable price,
My value abides in me, plentiful not sparse,
So I refuse to cower under the glare of your eyes
I hold my head up high, and they think I have no scars.
My face, my back, my limbs are smooth as baby’s bottom
There are no crutches, no band aids, no doctor’s letters,
And so my lashes, my pain and tears they cannot fathom
“Did he abuse you? And if he did where are the scars?”
Mountain or molehill, it makes no difference to me,
Strength lives in my heart to love, to forgive and stay;
But when tall mountain comes crashing into salty sea,
That very strength will guide this woman’s feet away.
For Hodiya, the resilient.