“Their friends observed a remarkable chemistry. ‘She’s the one that gets up in the morning with a dark cloud over her head, and he gets up with the bright sun,’ said a photojournalist who followed the Clintons in Arkansas and in Washington. ‘As the day goes on, he’s the one who falls into a funk and she’s the one who will refocus him. It’s one of those things that if they had never met neither of them would have reached the heights that they did.’” Continue reading…
I usually write on relationships so I’m sure you’re wondering what that has got to do with His Excellency.
Kenneth has been toasting my friend Lillian for over three years now. They started out as friends, during which time he made it clear that she wasn’t his type (she’s a nerd), so you can imagine her surprise and mine when, after a period of consoling him through a painful breakup, he revealed he was in love with her. He asked her out, she said no, and he refused to take no for an answer. He said he would keep asking her until she said yes, because he believed they were destined to marry.
We didn’t take him seriously, but weeks rolled into months and soon a year had passed, and then two years. He was still asking and she was still saying no. Why? First off she felt no attraction beyond friendship. Secondly, she didn’t like the idea of dating or marrying a younger man. Thirdly, he didn’t have the qualities she considered most important in a husband. She knows nobody is perfect, and that we must all identify things we can give up and those we can’t compromise on. Unfortunately, with Kenneth, it’s an abundance of the things she can’t stand and just a couple of the qualities she desires in her life partner.
This is the fourth year, and neither of them has been in a relationship in this time, just several dates that have led nowhere. The thing tire everybody, no be small. Over the years we’ve wondered, what’s the worst that could happen if she says yes? She keeps telling him that a relationship between them won’t work, and he keeps saying they can’t know that unless they try. However, she’s unwilling to try because she’s convinced it will end badly and they’ll lose their friendship altogether. According to her, she would hate to be one of the girls that broke his heart. She’s even come around regarding the age difference, but she’s really not feeling this guy beyond friendship level. I mean, she can’t even stand the thought of him kissing her!
Recently, I thought maybe she should say yes, and date him. Not because she’s in her 30s and time isn’t on her side biologically, but because there’s a tendency to wonder, years later when something or the other happens, how life would have turned out if she had said yes. And as is usual in such wonderings, there’s a tendency to think that perhaps life would have been much better if she had focused on his good qualities and ignored the rest.
After all, Buhari’s persistence worked for him. He toasted Nigeria for so long that she thought you know what, it’s not like there are other viable options, so let me say yes. And once she made that decision, it was easy for Nigeria to see how wonderful he was, and how he was her Messiah, just what she needed, the solution to all her problems. Others expressed doubt; tribalism, dictatorial tendencies, age and health…none of that mattered. He had been persistently proposing for a long time and that’s a sign of a man who knows what he wants and has a solid plan to make his woman happy. He deserved a chance. Besides, he had zero tolerance for corruption and wasn’t that just wonderful? But what about the fact that he’s obviously out of touch with modern day realities? Nigeria put her fingers in her ears. “Abeg don’t worry, he will learn. Nobody is perfect. Besides, what other options do I have?” And so the wedding took place. And it’s good that it did.
Can you picture Nigeria if he hadn’t won? Any negative event would have elicited shouts of “When we said vote Buhari, you people said no. See it now?!” Bomb blasts and massacres? “SMH. If you people had listened and voted Buhari, all these things would have been a thing of the past. He would have crushed them.” We wouldn’t have heard word, honestly. Forever and ever the matter of if Buhari had become president would never have ended.
Our children’s children would have been told stories of how we missed the opportunity to have had the president that would have turned this great ship called Nigeria in the right direction and set us on the path to peace and prosperity forever.
Now, make we hear word . Eye don clear. Everybody body don come down. Now, we won’t have to wonder; we know. And in my book, that’s a good thing.
So, don’t you think Lillian too should know for sure?
This article was first published on sabinews.com
Growing up, my worst fear was marrying the wrong man.
Haaaay God! I feared the thing more than the apocalypse. I never said anything about it to anyone because I wasn’t sure they’d get why a teenager should be worried about such a faraway thing, but it was a very real fear for me. Of course we know that a failed marriage, though traumatizing, is not the end of the world, but in my teenage mind, marriage to the wrong person was the end of one’s life. As far as I was concerned, it was all downhill from there, a nightmare from which one could never wake up. Then one day… Read more