Naija Voice: This Marriage of a Thing Dey Fear You?

E suppose fear you o. The thing risky no be small.

I remember one time wey dem ask one oyibo pikin who e go marry. E say e go marry im mama.

Dem tell am say no o, person no fit marry im own mama o. The boy come say okay, e go marry im sister. Dem say no o, person no dey marry sister o. Person no fit marry person from im own family o.

The pikin shock. E no fit believe am. So, person go just marry person wey e no know before? Na so una dey do am? The pikin begin cry.

You fit blame am? Sometimes I dey look my husband, and e dey surprise me say I meet person wey I no know before, come marry am. ‎Continue reading…

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Letter to my Friend, the Nigerian Undergraduate

Dear Friend,

In a country where many universities are struggling and some have already begun to decay, students like you who still strive for excellence and greatness against the odds, are in the minority.

I want you to know that I’m rooting for you, and I have a few things to share with you that will help you if you don’t merely read, but actually take them to heart.

Verbal Abuse: When There Are No Visible Scars

When Lois accepted Nduka’s marriage proposal, she had no idea she would be anything but blissfully happy with him. After all, he had wanted her in his life so badly, expressing his desire to date and marry her several times over the years since they first met…

When you ask Lois how she came to be trapped in an abusive marriage, she hesitates. Accepting Nduka’s treatment of her from the weeks leading up to their marriage, until now, as abuse, has been difficult for her. Continue reading.

Why Do Some Women Marry Without Physical Attraction?

It’s true that marriage isn’t all about sex, but sex is a huge part of it. And yes, it’s important to marry a nice, kind, decent man, but why would you marry him if you feel no physical attraction?

It turns out there are many reasons why people make that decision. I’ve been asking people who have found themselves in marriages without physical passion, and this is what they had to say.

What Life Has Taught Me About Friendship

When you consider that you can survive for a while without a lover or spouse, but it’s practically impossible to survive without a friend, it becomes easier to see how friendship is a bigger deal than romance. It’s not pleasant to be without romantic love in your life, but how much worse is it to be without a friend in the world?

I agree with CS Lewis: “After all—though our novels now ignore it—friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’” Read more…