7 Lessons I’ve Learnt About Saying No

I used to be that person who always wanted to say yes. I genuinely enjoy people and like making them happy. If I can put a smile on someone’s face, that’s usually the highlight of my day. As a result, I’ve found myself saying too many yeses for my own good, and this created myriad problems for me and drained the joy out of activities that used to make me happy.

Over the years, I’ve come to understand that saying no is often as important as saying yes. Here are 7 lessons that have stood out for me.

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Dear Professional, Are You Wasting Your Time?

Whether you work for yourself or you’re an employee, if you have your heart set on success then you are already familiar with the benefits of time management. You also have been a victim of one or more pitfalls along the way. In fact, from the moment you wake up, several of them are waiting to bite a huge chunk out of your productivity, if not swallow your day whole.

There’s social media, for starters. You reach for your phone or tablet just to check your Twitter feed, and before you know it you’ve been drawn into a vortex of mentions, replies, DMs, and trying to find out where this hot topic actually started from. The same thing happens with Facebook and Instagram, depending on which ones have the strongest hold on you. Continue reading…

 

Already Full

I am a finite being; this reality never dawned on me until recently. I kind of always knew, naturally, but today it hit me in a very tangible way. My capacity (be it emotional, relational, or physical) is finite.

First, one of my devotional readings for that day (Authentic Fasting by James McDonald) pointed out that it’s not that I’m not hungry for God; I’m just not hungry enough. And that’s because I’m full of many other things- including food.

Then I set out to drink 2.5 litres of water daily and I realised I simply could not eat as much as I had been eating if I wanted to be able to take in more water (my water drinking habits are notoriously poor) than I’m used to.

And I realised it’s the same thing in other areas of life. It’s the reason why there’s a book titled “Excessive Sleep, Killer of Destiny.” We have only 24 hours in a day and we must prioritize the things that really matter.

Even our affections are finite. You can’t love a husband or wife fully without first “forsaking all others” and emptying yourself of affections and addictions foreign to your marriage (you can try though, if you’re naive enough!).

You can’t serve two masters either.‎ That’s why I particularly loved the prayer at the end of that day’s reading:

Prayer – Father, I am a finite being. I can only do so much, and take in so much. Forgive my tendency to use my time and capacity on things that draw me away from nurturing my hunger for You. Give me such hunger for You I cannot help but put away that which does not satisfy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.